Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Tagged??? What the hell?

I don't normally respond to internet bullying, but I've been meaning to write something for a while, so I'll appease John Earle and do this "meme" thing that he tagged me with. Yes, he "tagged" me like a 6 year old. I guess that makes me "it".

Okay, I'm sure the two people that may be reading this are wondering what the hell I'm talking about. Basically he sent me a list of sentence starters like, "If I could be an astronaut..." and I have to complete 3-5 of the sentences. I'm not quite sure if I'm doing this right, but I'll give it a shot. For better or worse, here are my three completed sentences:

If I could be a midget stripper I’d only be stripping to work my way through grad school. I’d consider my stripping “research” for my historcial thesis: “Baring the Truth: Why George Washington’s Face Looks So Much Better Between Two Breasts.”

If a Jedi I could be, invert all my sentences I would.

If I could be a movie reviewer, I’d look right in the camera and cry heavily every time I saw a bad film and say, “Damn you, Angelina Jolie! Have you no shame!”

If I could be a llama rider, I'd wear a jockey outfit all the time and walk around with a riding crop, and make a matching mask for my llama to wear like a race horse. When people asked me why I was riding a llama, I'd say, "He's no llama. He's a race horse." Then people would think I was crazy and they'd leave me alone. Or they'd feel sorry for me and give me money.