Sanctity of the Dancer and Song Lyrics
I have officially healed the fish I have been obsessing over. In the process, I've finally given him a name: Shaft. His companion has been named Sushi. So now I have pets that sound like an early 80's sitcom: Sushi and Shaft. They sound like crime fighting fish, or unlikely roommates who have to find a way to somehow get along, or maybe cross-dressing fish that masquerade as women to get cheaper rent and fall in love with a hot fish named "Sunny."As another follow up, the bachelor party seemed to have gone well at my house. However, my husband Paul uttered the funniest phrase I think I've ever heard before I left the house for the evening. I was asking him what time I needed to leave. He said, "Sometime before the stripper gets here. Your presence will tarnish the sanctity of the dancer." Think about that: "the sanctity of the dancer." I was unaware that dancing naked on my coffee table was a sacred ritual and that somehow my being there would be as gauche as going to a baptism in a cheesy Satan outfit. Paul will hear about this for the rest of his life, which I think is part of the duties of a good wife: remind the man of all the dumb things he's said over the years. Men love that.
I've written a song and Paul has been producing it. He posted it on this audio forum website to get some feedback about the technical side of the recording. This forum has nothing to do with songwriting or lyric writing; however, this one guy chimed in to recommend a lyric change. I try to be open minded about criticism. I've really been working hard at it, but the more people I encounter, the more I learn that God did not see fit to equally distribute intelligence and talent amongst the people. I think the sooner you embrace this fact, the closer you will be to happiness. Anyway, the first line of the chorus is "I've known people like you, tearing down what I'm trying to build." So dumb ass writes, "It needs a stronger/punchier lyric. It points a negative/accusatory finger at the listener. Try, 'I'm breaking free, you can't fool me'. It's open and says the same thing."
My absolute distaste for this man's suggestion exists on many levels. I recognize that some of the best songs ever written have some stupid lyrics in them, but I can't figure out on what planet this guy thinks that line says the same thing as my original line. He says "it's open..." like, here's a little gift. You can have this one for free." No thank you. I want that line about as much as I want to be anally probed with large organic produce. Taking that suggestion would be like the Indian who accepted the small pox infested blankets. A plague would come over my song in the matter of minutes if I listened to people like him.
