Beautiful Vibe

A Lyrical Interpretation of "My Humps"

I had a great week last week that I'd love to share with you all, but unfortunately I am unable to disclose any information about it. The reason is a simple, yet powerful three letter word: Amy. It seems that most of my readers are of the clan Earle or a friend of the Earles, so if I were to write all about the great things that happened last week, I would be stealing her thunder. She wants the pleasure of telling you all herself and I suppose I can respect that, lest I fall out of her good graces and even farther away from a coveted sweater.

So, in lieu of sharing the good news, I read on Karyn's blog the other day an interesting post about a song called "My Humps" by Black Eyed Peas. Reading the lyrics, I marveled at how a white person could never have written this song... or at least made a hit out of it. For my own entertainment I have rewritten the lyrics as they may have been written by a very, very white person. My interpretations will be in italics. You will quickly see why this song would not work outside of the deft hands of will.i.am of the Black Eyed Peas. This song is a duet between will.i.am and Fergie and their parts are denoted by their names in brackets.



[Will.i.am]

Whatcha gonna do with all that junk
all that junk inside your trunk?

[White Interpretation]
May I kindly ask what your intentions are with your unusually large rear-end?

[Fergie]

I'ma get get get get you drunk
get you love drunk off my hump
my hump my hump my hump my hump my hump
my hump my hump my hump my lovely little lumps

[White Interpretation]
I fully intend to get you inebriated and intoxicate you with my lovely buttocks.


Check it out...

[White interpretation]
Please, kind sir, listen to this.

[Fergie]

I drive these brothers crazy. I do it on the daily
They treat me really nicely. They buy me all these ices
Dolce and Gabbana, Fendi and then Donna Karen they be sharin
All their money got me wearin fly gear. Brother, i ain't askin',

[White interpretation]
Every single day I drive these negroes hysterical. They treat me kindly and buy me diamonds. They purchase me expensive clothing from Italy and New York. All of their coinage has me donning a fantastic wardrobe, negro, so I am not inquiring, lest they stop giving.

[Fergie]
They say they love mah ass in Seven Jeans
True religion I say no but they keep givin
So I keep on takin And no I aint taken'
We can keep on datin ill keep on demonstrating

My love my love my love my love you love my lady lumps
my hump my hump my hump my humps they got you spendin all your money on me..and spendin time on me..


[White interpretation]
They say they adore my posterior in fancy jeans. True religion, I say no, but they keep bestowing gifts on me, so I keep taking, and by the way, no, I am not currently being courted by anyone. So we can keep encountering one another and I'll keep on showing you my love, my love, my love, my female buttocks. My buttocks, my buttocks, my buttocks, my buttocks have you spending all of your money on me and occupying all of your time.

[Will.i.am]

Whatcha gonna do with all that ass
all that ass inside them jeans?

[White interpretation]
Whatever will you do with that giant portion of booty you have inside your trousers?

[Fergie]

I'ma make make make make you scream
make you scream make you scream
cuz' of my humps my hump my hump my hump
my hump my hump my hump my lovely lady lumps

[White interpretation]
I will make you talk at an unusually high volume because of my buttocks, my buttocks, my buttocks, my pulchritudinous female buttocks.

[Will.i.am]

I met a girl down at the disco She said hey hey hey yeah lets go
I can be ya baby, you could be my honey Lets spend time not money
And mix your milk with my cocoa puff milky milky cocoa
mix your milk with my cocoa puff Milky milky
Riiiiight...


[White interpretation]
I met a young lady at the discoteque. She said, "Hello, good sir. Let us away. I can be your lady, and you could be my syrupy sweet substance. Let us pass the time together and not spend money. I'd like to protect my 401k. Let us mix our dairy products with breakfast cereal.

[Fergie]

They say I'm really sexy. The boys they wanna sex me
They always standin next to me, always dancin next to me
tryin'a feel my hump hump Lookin at my lump lump


[White interpretation]
They say I arouse them in an extremely sexual manner. The young men wish to have sexual intercourse with me. They are always in my proximity, always moving in rhythmic, animated gestures beside me trying to touch my deriare, deriare, ogling my deriare.

[Fergie]
you can look but you can't touch it. If you touch it
I'ma.. start some drama. You don't want no drama, No no drama no no no no drama
So don't Pull on my hand, boy you ain't my man, boy
I'm just tryna dance, boy And move my hump
my hump my hump my hump my hump my hump my hump
my hump my hump my hump my hump my lovely lady lumps
my lovely lady lumps my lovely lady lumps

[White interpretation]
You can observe, but you may not, under any circumstances, come in contact with it.
If you do come in contact with my behind, I will cause a public disturbance. And I assure you, kind sir, you are not desirous of that. So do not draw me near. Young man, you are not my significant other. I am just trying to gyrate my body in rhythmic motions and move my buttocks, my buttocks, my lovely female buttocks.

posted by T. @ 10:29 PM